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| Monday, August 14, 2006 |
| What is the Point of........TATTOOS |
Aaah summer, summer, summertime...as one wiseman once said. The sunny days, the smell of freshly cut grass, the sunburn, the attempt to wear as little clothes as possible and still maintain a sense of dignity. Truly these are the best of times. I have to admit, even as a happily married man, I do tend to notice the women much more at this time of year. Occasionally my head gets turned by a rather attractive looking lady in the high street, I mean you can't help it can you? However, every now and then I get a big wet slap in the face by disappointment (does that even make sense?) as I realise that she has a tattoo on her shoulder.
I have a problem with tattoos. Now, some may say this is because I am a wussy coward with very small balls, when in actual fact I am.....a wussy coward with very s.....well, you get the idea. The real reason I don't like tattoos is the fact that, by and large, they look naff. The designs look great in the confines of your (very confined) head but on skin, man it just looks bad. I always liken tattoos to tank tops. You wouldn't wear a tank top throughout all the changing fashions, so why have a tattoo that will be painfully (literally) unfashionable in about, oh, 2 seconds after you have it done. It is, my friends, the nature of the beast. And don't even get me started on what they look like on old people. With their shriveled, wrinkly skin and piss stained trousers. That 'HATE' tattoo doesn't look quite so fearsome now does it?? With your pissy pants and dribbling mouth, you're not so bloody hard now, are you?
The very worst kind of tattoos are, to my mind, those bloody stupid Chinese symbols. You pick a design that you like, thinking it symbolises peace or love, only for the 'artist' to know that you have actually had 'Twat' or 'Arse' imprinted on your shoulder blade. Much to his obvious amusement. Yes, that's right, millions of young females are walking around with Chinese obscenities all over their bodies. Idiots. Still, don't they look trendy eh? |
posted by korova @ 1:37 pm  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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Don't you love the thought of people walking round with Twat or Arse in chinese permanently carved into their flesh, completely oblivious? That's one of the best things about tattoos...ever.
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I've always thought those Chinese tattoos were really very usefull.
As someone who's never been able to tell his own arse from his elbow I found it helped no end if the woman you were going out with came with everything clearly labelled.
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Aaaah, I think you have both answered my question. I now fully understand the purpose of tattoos. Thank you for the explanations!
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I have never even considered getting a tattoo, and most of the people that I know have one. It has never appealed to me, as like you, I think about the time when I am old and wrinkly, and wonder, "what the hell is this going to look like in 30 years?" I'm also very indecisive, so I could never pick something out that I would love for the rest of my life. :)
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hey wes.....yeah, wrinkly old men/women with tattoos is in no way cool! And being indecisive is no good for a tattoo....
Can I have a Chinese symbol?
bzzzzzzzzz
No, I mean a celtic band
bzzzzzzzzz
No, sorry, a butterfly
bzzzzzzzzz
Did I say butterfly, I meant bird
bzzzzzzzz
Actually....my god, it looks like you have played etch-a-sketch on my arm....
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Don't you love the thought of people walking round with Twat or Arse in chinese permanently carved into their flesh, completely oblivious? That's one of the best things about tattoos...ever.