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| Wednesday, August 23, 2006 |
| For All You Dog Poo Munchers Out There..... |
What is wrong with popular culture?? Why is it the equivalent of munching a lump of dog poo laced with arsenic?? Everything that is popular turns out to be utter cack??? Is it just an age thing (shut up Neath!)?? Or is it just that everything is so totally rubbish?? Why do I find inserting small spikes into my rectum preferable to indulging in the shite fest that is Popular Culture?? Take some of the utter bilge that calls itself music nowadays. The lack of talent is almost frightening. Does anyone else feel like we are being turned into the zombie hordes in 28 Days Later (not to be confused with the god awful 28 Days - despite starring the lovely Sandra Bullock, god she is lovely, couldn't you just give her a big hug?? Anyway, where was I?? Ahh yes, shite music......)????
Take Robbie Williams*, for example. The man is a walking lump of turd. My bottom can hold a better tune than this ghastly, bum clenching horror show. He can't sing, he can't dance, he just wings it on his 'hey look at me aren't I a cheeky chappie, nudge nidge wink wink' schtick. Well, 'Mr' Williams, quite frankly I have had enough of your awful arse-wipe of a face. Might I suggest a date with me, a blow torch and a hacksaw?? We could even record your tortured screams, at least then the public will be able to notice a hint of passion in that gob-smackingly piss poor thing you call a 'voice'. Think of the album sales Robbie, you know it makes sense.
As for Bono* and his crew of 'tree huggers' (if the trees are sponsored by Gucci of course, our Bono would settle for nothing less), will you stop using the slow death of the planet as a marketing routine to pocket yourselves some extra thousands??? We all know that your music is utter garbage, so don't try to repackage it as caring, sharing, hippy shit you moron. What's that you say Bono?? You are trying to save the planet?? In a private jet?? Sponsored by Motorola?? Gimme that SAM now!! I feel the urge to take him out. Or perhaps we should just nail him to cross so he can truly live out his Jesus fantasy. Arse monkey.
*Robbie's great new album will be available in October. The album also includes a free lobotomy, so you won't have to worry about the inevitable mess when your brain melts from listening to the talentless twat. You can buy a diamond encrusted 'Bono on a Crucifix' at all good Gucci stores. |
posted by korova @ 9:46 pm  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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We really should invent i-korova (not a simpson's catchphase). Like i-god, only you put in a topic and watch him explode with fury. It'd be the pinnacle of tha intawub.
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It's because culture is spoon fed to us now. Why go out and find your own interests when the tele will tell you what you want. Trust the tele. The tele is your friend.
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Isn't i-korova what the ewoks used to say?
Korova- have you ever exploded in fury after someone has said something stupid? I don't know, maybe at work?
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XULUB - I am a bomb waiting to explode
Neath - I love tele, it loves me back with pretty colours and flashing lights....and i don't think I have ever exploded in fury after someone has said something stupid....oh sorry, that's a lie isn't it.
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That's right. You went mental when that person told you that peach blouse you were wearing didn't suit you. You nearly dropped your pipe in disbelief.
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We really should invent i-korova (not a simpson's catchphase). Like i-god, only you put in a topic and watch him explode with fury. It'd be the pinnacle of tha intawub.